The Internet Is For Porn
by LuckyxLabradoodlexLoverx7
Summary: AU:  Mimi is sitting at her new computer when Collins begins singing The Internet Is For Porn from Avenue Q.  Rated M for language.  Takes place in 2007.


Disclaimer - I own nothing of RENT or Avenue Q. Both belong to their respected owners. 'Nuff said.

_**Italics**_ are song lyrics.

A/N: I was listening to my Avenue Q soundtrack earlier today and thought that the song The Internet Is For Porn would be a funny songfic.

Summary: AU: Mimi is sitting at her new computer when Collins begins singing The Internet Is For Porn from Avenue Q. Rated M for language. Takes place in 2007.

Genre: Parody/Humor

Rating: M

* * *

"Finally, I'm at home with my new computer!" Mimi squealed, turning on her computer. She and Roger had gotten better jobs and could afford things like the Internet and a computer.

"_The Internet is really, really great._" Mimi sang as Collins came into the loft, a beer bottle in his hand.

"_For porn._" Collins sang. Mimi looked over her shoulder, ignoring him.

"_I've got a fast connection so I don't have to wait._" Mimi crooned, typing in a name of a sight she wanted to visit in the 'search' area.

"_For porn._" Collins belted.

"Huh? _There's always some new sight-_" Mimi sang.

"_For porn!_" Collins interrupted.

"_I browse all day and night._" Mimi continued singing.

"_For porn!_" Collins belted.

"_It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light._" Mimi crooned.

"_For porn!_" Collins shouted.

"Collins!" Mimi whined.

"_The Internet is for porn._" Collins sang.

"Collins!" Mimi warned.

"_The Internet is for porn._" Collins sang, ignoring Mimi.

"What are you doing?" Mimi asked. Collins came around to where Mimi was and stood next to her.

"_Why do you think the net was born? Porn, porn, porn._" Collins sang. Mimi rolled her eyes.

"Col-lins!" Mimi whined.

"Oh, hello Mimi." Collins greeted her.

"You're ruining my song." Mimi told him.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." Collins told her.

"Well, if you wouldn't mind please being quiet for a minute so I can finish." she told him, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

"I won't talk." Collins told her, zipping his lip.

"Good." Mimi said, turning her attention back to her computer. "_I'm glad we have this new technology._" Mimi sang.

"_For porn_." Collins sang.

"Ugh. _Which gives us untold opportunity._" Mimi crooned.

"_For por--_oops, sorry." Collins apologized. Mimi rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to her computer.

"_Right from your own desktop._" Mimi crooned, typing as she sang.

"_For ---_" Collins sang. Mimi put a hand over his mouth.

"_You can research, browse and shop. Until you've had enough and you're ready to stop._" Mimi sang quickly. Collins swatted her hand away and took a deep breath.

"_FOR PORN!_" he sang/shouted.

"Collins!" Mimi complained.

"_The Internet is for porn!_" Collins sang.

"Noooo!" Mimi whined.

"_The Internet is for porn!_" Collins sang, totally ignoring Mimi.

"Collins!" Mimi whined.

"_I'm up all night honking my horn for porn, porn, porn!_" Collins sang, sitting on the couch.

"That's gross! You're a pervert!" Mimi scolded him.

"Ah, sticks and stones, Mimi." Collins said, going to the fridge and got out a beer.

"No, really. You're a pervert. Normal people don't sit at home and look at porn on the Internet." Mimi told him.

"Oh???" Collins asked, looking at her funny.

"What?" Mimi asked.

"You have no idea. Ready normal people?" Collins asked. Mark, Roger, Benny and a friend of Roger's named Gary- came into the loft.

"Ready." Mark said.

"Ready." Roger said.

"Ready." Benny said.

"Ready." Gary spoke up.

"Let me hear it!" Collins told them.

"_The Internet is for porn._" Collins and the guys sang. Roger looked at Mimi apologetically and shrugged his shoulders.

"_All these guys unzip their flies for porn, porn, porn!_" Collins sang, smiling at the guys. Thank God that Maureen, Joanne and Angel weren't at the loft - they would've been mad (well, Maureen and Angel would be - Joanne, not so much).

"The Internet is not for porn!" Mimi exclaimed, but the guys ignored her.

"_Porn! Porn P---_" the guys sang when Mimi put a hand up. The five of them instantly stopped singing.

"HOLD ON A SECOND!" Mimi shouted. "Now I know for a fact that you, Benny, check your portfolio and trade stocks online." Mimi pointed at Benny.

"That's correct." Benny told her.

"And Mark, you check your status on Facebook." Mimi reminded him.

"Sure!" Mark responded.

"And Gary, you keep selling your possessions on Ebay." Mimi said, looking up from her computer. Gary nodded and smiled.

"And Roger, you sent me that sweet online birthday card." Mimi told him, smiling.

"True." Roger told her, smiling at his girlfriend.

"Oh, but Mimi - what do you think he did after? Hmmm?" Collins asked. Mimi got a disgusted look on her face. She could hear Benny, Mark, Gary and Roger snickering.

"EWWWWWWW!" she exclaimed, shutting the computer down.

"_The Internet is for porn!_" the guys burst into song.

"Gross!" Mimi told them.

"_The Internet is for porn!_" the guys sang.

"I hate porn." Mimi announced.

"_Grab your dick and double click._" Collins and the guys sang.

"I hate you men." Mimi told the guys, not believing that Roger would even dream of looking at a naked woman - except her.

"_For porn, porn, porn._" they harmonized.

"I'm leaving." Mimi announced, getting up from her computer and walked to the room that she and Roger shared.

"_Porn, porn, porn, porn  
Porn, porn, porn, porn._" Collins and the guys sang, ignoring Mimi.

"I hate the Internet." Mimi told the guys.

"_Porn, porn, porn, porn._" the guys harmonized.

"_The Internet is for._" Collins sang.

"_The Internet is for porn!_" All the guys sang.

"_Yeah!_" Collins whooped.

Mimi told herself that she would never use the computer in the loft ever again.


End file.
